To open, a wild circus show – a few elephants trumpeting in the background. A large bucket – did I say large, I meant gianormous, 4 feet tall, and only so that people can still reach in – of chicken wings downstage right, a tent overhead, and some confetti aimlessly floating around in the air.
A really short man, with a top hat half as tall as he is, steps off a show stool upstage left. The only other character on stage is a young awkward man with a lion mask lifted off his face, sharpening a couple of really long pencils downstage centre.
Man-in-the-Top-Hat: Leo, aren’t you done with those yet?
Leo: Almost, Vince. You know Di likes them to be extra sharp.
Vince: (sighing) And extra crispy.
Leo: What’re you talking about? Her chicken wings?
Vince: Nothing.
He takes off his top hat. He’s bald underneath.
Vince: I’m not going to be seeing Di tonight.
Leo stops sharpening the pencils.
Vince: And I need you to help me help Di understand.
Leo: Are you leaving us?
Vince comes up to Leo and takes the pencils off him and starts sharpening them himself.
Leo: Are you?
Vince: Leo. I’ve been trying not to. For a really long time. But the dreams are getting to me.
Leo: I thought you were seeing a shrink. We thought you were seeing a shrink.
Vince: You don’t understand Leo. I told you that because I didn’t want you two to freak out. Especially Di.
Leo: You lied? You lied about the shrink?
Vince: No I didn’t lie about the shrink. I am seeing a shrink. Heck, I still will be. That’s the reason I have to do this. I can’t take the dreams anymore.
Leo: I can’t understand this. You know I can’t understand this. I have no idea what you’re talking about. You know I have no idea what you’re talking about. Di won’t like this. You know Di won’t like this.
Vince: Shh. I’m sorry.
Leo: What are we going to do?
Vince: I’m sorry.
The pencil breaks. Vince kneels down to pick up the broken lead. Leo pulls his mask off his head.
Leo: Vince, what are we going to do?
Vince: You keep Di happy. The pencils and the chicken wings, that’s all she’s ever needed. My big well fed artist.
Leo: That’s not going to be enough, Leo. That was never enough. She’s going to be upset when you don’t turn up tonight. You remember how upset she can be?
There is a loud trumpet outside.
Leo: You remember what she did when you missed her birthday? Remember that birthday?
Vince: I remember that birthday, Leo.
Leo: You remember the circus tent after that birthday?
Vince: I remember the circus tent.
Leo: Well then, Vince, you can explain all this to Di, yourself.
Vince: I can’t, Leo.
Leo: Well I don’t even understand it so I can’t. And I can’t deal with another trampled circus tent, and you won’t even be there, and I still can’t understand why. So you can explain to Di.
Vince: I can’t.
Leo silently picks up the large pencils and breaks them in half.
Leo: You can explain to her why her pencils are broken as well.
Vince: Leo, I’m leaving the two of you because I’m going to die here. (pause) I didn’t want to tell you, because I didn’t want to freak you out. Like I said. I’m not killing myself. I’m just killing myself here. I can’t take the dreams anymore. The dreams about you and Di. They just make no sense.
Leo: You didn’t tell us you’ve been dreaming about us.
Vince: Because I didn’t know you were a dream…
Leo: I don’t understand. You know I don’t understand –
Vince: …at first. Then I started seeing the shrink. He did some hypnotism mumbo-jumbo. And I found out I’d been dreaming about you and Di every night. Similar dreams. And I did things wrong when I was awake. Messed up stuff. My job. My wife. My paper-shredder. Because I kept confusing which was real…
Leo: What are you saying? You know I don’t understand what you’re saying –
Vince: and which was a dream. You and Di. Only a dream. A dream that made me keep messing stuff up. My job. My wife. My pin-ball machine. So he said to me, the shrink said… snap out of it. You decide which one’s more important. Your dream or this world. And snap out of it….
Leo: What the hell are you talking about? You know I can’t tell what you’re talking about –
Vince: …snap out, wake up. End it. So I decided I would. Because you know I’ve really been messing stuff up. My job. My wife. My butterfly collection.
Leo: But you saw the shrink. I went with you. I went with you to see the shrink. It was a few days ago. He had an orange overcoat and sang Bugs Bunny songs under the streetlight. I was there when you met him.
Vince: No, you’re putting stories in my head. Don’t fight it. You’re a dream. You and Di. You don’t know it but you are, and I’m sorry. And it’s too late now. I’ve set everything up. I hired the buxom ballerina troupe to kidnap the safety net for tonight’s show. Just before my swan dive. It’s not going to be there. So I can’t back out now. I’m sorry. You’ll have to explain to Di. I’m sorry. You’ll have to tell her why I won’t move after I fall through the false water bucket. You’ll have to tell her why I won’t answer when she trumpets for me – won’t get her her pencils for her part of the show. Why it’ll be you standing with her chicken wings instead of me, while she sketches the audience and then bows for her applause. Why it’ll be you instead of me leading her back into her tent at night and kissing her goodbye. Why it’ll be you instead of me waking her up every morning from tomorrow with her apricot flavoured sponge bath and my old ladder.
Leo: You saw the shrink with me, Vince.
Vince: No, that’s not true. I didn’t see the shrink here. I saw him when I was awake. Singing Daffy Duck songs…
Leo: Under an orange streetlight. You remember it now, don’t you? He told you – he told you it was all a dream. That you were dreaming about them every night. A job. A wife. Some strange box-things. And you were messing things up real bad. My health. Di’s breakfast. The pirouette before your swan dive. And he told you you needed to snap out of it. Because this was real. And that was the dream.
Vince: No. He said I’d confuse things. That I needed to …
Leo: Stay focused. You remember it now, right? That you had to put those medicine things in your glass of water at night so that you’d die there, in your dream, and escape, and never have to...
Vince: Go back again.
The circus in the background goes away, and the two of them are standing under the light of an orange streetlight.
Leo: Did you do that, Vince? Did you remember to do that in your dream last night?
Vince: I don’t remember.
Leo: If you love Di, then I think you’ll have remembered.
Vince: No. I remember. The orange man said I needed to choose. You said I needed to choose which was the real thing – and which was the dream. And once I chose, I knew what I needed to do.
Leo: For Di’s sake, you chose the right thing. I’m sure you chose the right thing, didn’t you?
Vince: I’m telling you, Leo, the net’s gone. The safety net. Whether you like it or not, it’s much too late. I’m dying tonight. The show’s just about to begin.
The elephants trumpet again. A muffled applause is heard somewhere in the distance.
Leo: Do you love Di, Vince?
There is a pause.
Vince: I didn’t chose.
Leo: Do you love her?
Vince: Yes.
Leo: Then it really is goodbye. I’m sorry.
Vince: I don’t want to die.
Leo: I’m sorry.
Vince: I only wanted to stop dreaming.
Leo: I’m sorry.
Vince: You’ll tell Di I love her.
Leo: I’m sorry. I will.
Vince: Then I’ll see you around.
He puts his hat back on. The background is a filled circus tent, with people cheering from below.
Vince does a sprint, pirouettes and then takes off in the start of a swan dive. An elephant trumpets from somewhere. The lights fade out. Curtain.
